Grace

Grace.
By Karen

“It seems that all my bridges have been burnt
but you say that's exactly how this grace thing works.
It's not the long walk home that will change this heart
But the welcome I receive with every start.”
Mumford and Sons, Roll Away Your Stone


Grace is a funny thing.
People talk about it all the time in different ways.
It is discussed in religious context, grace periods for car payments, or even a saving grace, being saved at the last minute unexpectedly.

For me grace means a second chance. Grace means that no matter how far down you fall, or how many mistakes you make, there will always be another opportunity. Or as Mumford and Son’s so eloquently states, it is having all your bridges being burned, and still having your heart changed.
Grace also is God intervening for you in a very real way.
No matter what your religious affiliations are, grace is a powerful force in anyone’s life.

I have come to be a both a great believer in, and a great dependent of grace.

I am not a perfect human being. I make mistakes on a daily basis, sometimes many, many mistakes in one day. In fact I have found that each day is an opportunity for me to learn and to grow, because with utter certainty I can tell you that there will be something within each day that I mess up or forget.
I try each day to wake with the renewed determination to do the next right thing, to be the best human being I can be, and to make good choices. Then I have my first cup of coffee, head out and the world confronts me with its frailties’ and challenges. How I encounter these things is different on any given day, thus the reliance on grace.

Today was one of those days. Today it seemed the world was conspiring against me. Everything that could happen did, and many were things that were completely unexpected. I tried my hardest to confront each issue as it came, and to handle things with dignity, strength, and courage. But alas, I was drained and felt defeated, I felt alone and afraid. So I did the best I could do, and trusted in grace to do the rest.
It is almost the end of the day, and I wish I could say something profound happened. That there was some amazing miracle that happened to get me through, and I could tell you some amazing story of an angel swooping in to save me. Grace does not always work that way.

Grace is sometimes quiet.
Grace is subtle.
Grace can mean the smallest of things that help you survive.
In looking back on this day that I just want to forget, I see grace everywhere.
There was grace in the phone call from my girlfriend who encouraged me to not give up, who made me laugh about selling everything I own, even the beds in my apartment to pay the bills. Who told me I was not just good, but excellent. The texts from another friend who reminded me not to give up and that life can change in a second, and what looks hopeless now can be an opportunity in the making.
There was grace in the fact that the kids I nanny both took naps at the same time so I could get phone calls and homework done.
There was grace in free coffee being handed out on Michigan Avenue, and finding a bag of Swedish fish I had forgotten about in my backpack.
Perhaps most importantly is that there was grace in surviving.
Grace in not giving up and not crying defeat.
There was grace in persevering and overcoming.
The biggest source of grace is in knowing that when I close my eyes tonight, I will wake up to a new day, a new morning to strengthen my resolve. A second change. A do-over. That is the biggest grace of all.